Okay so lets talk about General Conference. For those that might not know this happens twice a year where the Mormons gather to listen to talks given from the Prophet and the Apostles and some other members of the General Presidency Auxiliaries. For a Member this is a joyous time, there is uplifting music they look forward to hearing from the Prophet and members believe that he literally speaks for God, he is God's chosen mouthpiece. The messages are usually geared toward family and sometimes they give instruction, I think that most of the members are secretly waiting to hear something big, a new change or announcement.
This was my first conference outside of the church, i was nervous to watch but for me this was like okay im going to give this my true last shot. I was going into in with open ears and an open heart wanting to feel the spirit. Things were going fine.... until Elder Oaks got up to speak.
He starts off talking about how we need to be searching for our truths and information. Okay first of all who is he to tell me how i search for my truth? for the truth that will ultimately be the basis for every decision i make? Is not my relationship between me and God none of his Damn Business? YES so stop telling me and all the members of your church HOW they find the truth for themselves. It is a scare tactic, Fear is the motivation. That is why information is labeled " anti- mormon" It doesn't matter if it is factual or true. If it doesnt fall in line with the Mormon narrative then it is not church approved and thus labeled as " Anti- Mormon".
Oh and i just love how he then lists the ONLY approved methods for finding truth in religion.
1. Prayer
2.Holy Ghost
3. Study Scripture
4. WORDS OF MODERN PROPHETS
Let's look at number one. Prayer, Check i did that. I did that for weeks and weeks.
Number two, the Holy Ghost umm the spirit never told me the things i were learning were NOT true. The spirit did not confirm to me that Pres. Nelson was the prophet. The spirit did not confirm to me that Jospeh Smith was a prophet. It also didnt tell me that the things i was learning about Joseph Smith were wrong. In fact quite the opposite, I will tell you that i knew what i was learning was true. I wont say it was the spirit because i dont believe in that anymore. Logic and sense told me that. Because all the pieces were starting to come together, i started to see it in all the stories i have been told, in the culture and patterns within the church, its everywhere if you look.
Third, Study scripture. I got to be honest here guys i have read the BOM a few times and at this point i had learned how it came to be and any desire i had to read it went out the freakin window. How can i trust it now? Ill go over the translation next.
Last but not least number four. Words of modern day prophets, oh yes how prophetic. Before i was even questioning the church i rejected the idea that the prophet is infallible and that he speaks for me. He talks are merely suggestions, if what he says can be applied to my life in such a away that it makes it better, great. im all for that. But he is just a man, and when you no longer believe in Joseph Smith you no longer believe in any prophet. So with these methods how do i find truth to the things that i have learned? I prayed, i read, all that was left was to get in line and do what these men say.
Elder Oaks said "Those who once had spiritual vision can suffer from self-inflicted spiritual blindness."
Self inflicted huh... These men take no responsibility for telling lies, for changing the history and the narrative and gaslighting its members. They put the blame on us if we have a crisis of faith. What a cop out. He says “Their problem does not lie in what they think they see; it lies in what they cannot yet see.” WOW! thanks Elder Oaks, actually i have a problem with what i DO see, i have a problem with The Gospel Topic Essays that YOUR church published. I have a problem with the Journals written by women who suffered horribly by the tortuous law of polygamy. I have a problem with how we treat the LGBTQ community and teach the members how to treat them. I have a problem with Bishops having closed door interviews with children and asking inappropriate sexual questions. Just ask some of your historians that know the doctrine, oh wait you cant. You excommunicated them because they learned all the lies and asked questions, that's right. Ya know i watched conference hoping to find some answers, but instead i was told Only listen to me, we have all the answers only we dont. lol
Bottom line is, If i have a relationship with God it doesnt involve anyone else! The leaders of the church dont get to punish me, and tell me how to live. Without Mormonism i am a good person! I dont hurt people, I love more and i cherish every moment here on earth. I just dont believe in a God that would punish me or segregate me from my family in heaven because i dont believe in Joseph Smith and his church.
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